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The month of December is easily my favorite month of the year. Not only because Star Wars is back with another trilogy (Teehee!), but it is also my birth month, we have Christmas a week after that, and of course, the new year to look forward to. December also has been constantly my "reflection month". It's the month when I usually become most grateful for how great every year goes by, and for how abundantly blessed I am for receiving everything from God. So, this blogpost is basically a reflection of how 2017 and my 25th year (I turned 26 last Monday) on this planet came to be. If you believe you've been a part of it, I hope you can spare a few minutes and read this.

If you are close enough to me, you'd probably know that this year has been so far my craziest, hardest, most hurting, and most unforeseen year.. yet it could definitely pass as one of the GREATEST I have ever had. One for the books, sabi nga nila. I remember thinking before I turned 25 last year what challenges I would probably face in life cos I really pale in comparison to some when it comes to life hurdles. It kind of felt like I have no story to tell people. Not that I asked for it for if you know me well, you would know that I've actually always been grateful for a having a complete family, a job I enjoy, good enough grades - basically having everything I need (not want, ha?) in life.

Ja-FUN! :P Excuse my baduy caption HAHA but this is my first solo travel last January

Then there goes the first quarter of this year. I started my 25th year by traveling to Japan alone - a feat for someone who is so bad with directions. Hahaha! Around the second week of February, I went to Ilocos alone as well for a day to celebrate and host my lola's 90th birthday party. But then, after coming back from these two trips wherein I was so ecstatic and proud of myself for having done everything independently, a few treasured people decided to leave my life. These are people whom I thought was going to walk with me until the end as promised so I was pretty shocked and was left with a lot of questions in mind. I found myself asking God why in the world would such thing happen to me when I've been a good girl who always followed the rule book. Why me? What did I ever do to them? *cue in Liza Soberano's famous movie line.. "Pangit ba 'ko? Kapalit-palit ba ko?"* Lol.

To be honest, these questions were never answered and I've come to realize early on in the process that God doesn't always give us the answers; well at least not yet. But for someone who always takes pride on herself for everything she does and all that she works hard for, things were kind of hard to process. Good thing, the Big Guy up there does not disappoint. Things have actually shifted in my favor after this happened and I couldn't be more grateful.

First of all, I realized how blessed I am to be surrounded by people who knew and who would always remind me of the right thing to do. When the volcano erupted, it was my college barkada and a few college orgmates who stayed beside me, constantly asking me how I was doing. Props to these people for making me feel loved (as innnn) and they always made time for videoke nights, out-of-town trips, overnight staycations, and even as simple as eating-out at restos to be with me. To be honest, I never thought that this bunch would be a group I could rely on during my lowest moments for we were mostly together in college for the happy ones but hey, they did surprise me and with that, I am very thankful. Thank you guys for feeling every emotion and sharing the weight with me. This group right here never made me feel like I had to carry the baggage alone. As cheesy as it sounds, I don't know how I could have done it without you. (Okay stop na, this is getting yucky. Hahahaha!)

Leanders, Gids, Kitte, Cams, A, me, and Raymond having our bulalo fix in Tagaytay

Of course, there's also my HS friends who met up with me agad-agad! Big thanks to my constants for making me feel like I'm the best person ever even though it felt like I was the worst at the time.

Yani, Kenneth, me, Benny, and Jane during our Christmas party

On the second quarter of 2017, I got plugged in at Victory in Katipunan. I used to attend church alone for years at Victory Ortigas (Robinsons Galleria) so I'm just so happy now that I don't have to do worship and attend services alone anymore. My college bestfriend, Kitte and I decided to attend at Katips together and we now belong to the same small group. We've done One2One and Victory Weekend as well last July "legitly" sealing our walk with God. I remember having been wanting to do this since after college but I could not pursue it because doing so would mean letting go of a previous relationship, and not to mention, my parents are also devout Catholics. Looking at it now, I thank God for how He orchestrated all of these things to happen. Now, I can finally say that I have a church I belong to :)

My BIGGEST this year. On the left is Gladys, my discipler

I'm very blessed as well to have met a few lovely girls who are now my sisters in faith. Gladys was the one who discipled me throughout the entire One2One process and I thank her for not finding me so pushy and epal. Hahaha! I remember consistently texting her every Sunday if we should meet up and do One2One. Define eagerness, no? :P The other girls - Cy, Janella, Dayne, Ria, Jean, and Joyce on the other hand never fails to amaze me every Sunday on how beaming they are with wisdom. I may be the oldest in our small group but I am actually the one being taught and inspired by these girls. Thank you also for praying for me for countless times!

Kitte, Gladys, Ria, Cy, Dayne, Janella, and me

I cannot miss to include here how one of my childhood dreams came true this year. I became a teacher - well, a Sunday school teacher for kids church actually. I've always wanted to become a preschool teacher but never really imagined it possible and in this setting. I always had this dream of opening up a small school, probably when I have already saved enough money from being an engineer but God has His ways! This is His perfect answer to my dream of becoming one without having to leave my profession. I am just so happy and I hope I can describe to you the feeling whenever I get to finish a shift every other Sunday but ahhhhh!!! I cannot put into words how overflowing my heart gets whenever I am with these babies. It feels like I'm the one who's actually learning whenever we do huddle time.

My babies <3

Also this year, my Mom decided to bring my Lola here in Taytay from her house in Ilocos since the madre has no work to attend to anymore (perks of retirement, morning zumba included LOL). My Lola, like what I've said earlier, just turned 90 last February and I am thankful because I get to spend weekends at home with her. It kind of gets hard sometimes but I treasure even our simplest kwentuhans with each other. I pray that God grants her more years so she can still be with us longer.

Meet my beautiful Lola Andrea

Of course, I will always be grateful for my parents. I always thank God for having given me such parents who care so much about me and what I go through in life. I love them for appreciating and for being proud cos that is really all I wanted them to feel about me. I've been doing my best since I was in school to be the best in everything because truth be told, all I wanted in life was to make them proud.

   

This same year, I had my last academic semester in UP as well. (I've been taking my MS studies since 2014) I finished my last six units last June and thankfully, all my subjects were credited by the department. I was having a dilemna of some sorts since late last year (2016) because I wasn't really sure if my department was going to credit all the subjects I have taken due to some technicalities. I am just so grateful that my professors were kind enough to write the dept. head the necessary certifications to allow me to finally take the comprehensive exam, which I took just before November of this year ended. I had to take an almost two-month leave from work (Thank you to my employer and my bosses at Fluor for allowing me and for all the support!) to focus on the three-day exam. Results aren't out until now but I want to already claim victory. I know I've done everything I could and I've already surrendered to God whatever the results may be so I am not really worried anymore to know how I fared.

Fingers crossed!

There are so many more things that I can say on how God has showered me His grace this year. Believe me, I can write even the simplest and lamest of things, even name a lot more people to whom I am so thankful for this year but allow me to elaborate only on these since these have been the highlights of my 25th year/2017.

I've never looked at each day this gratefully and in case you are one of those who messaged me personally but I wasn't able to drop your name you here, I hope you get even the slightest idea of how you made a single day of my year bearable. I've never seen people (mostly the unexpected ones!) become so sweet and caring to me so from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for affirming my belief that there is good in everyone. To be honest, I kind of questioned this belief of mine because of the few bad things that happened but I'd like to still believe that people are generally good in nature. It's just that humans, myself included, sometimes make a few decisions and actions that hurt and disappoint those that surround, care, and love them.

Also, I cannot thank God enough not only for making my heart whole again, but also for the wisdom He has bestowed me this year. We have the best relationship right now. I used to be someone who was so afraid of uncertainty, always worrying, and making sure I get what I want out of life but He has changed my perspective. I've learned to surrender everything to Him and the more I let go and let Him be God, the more I see of Him. I spent too many years trying to control what was never meant to be under my control. I loved God but didn't trust Him enough to leave myself in His hands but now, I already have a daily walk with Him. Some days, I get ahead of Him, some days we're side by side, and but many days He carries me. He meets me, He goes before me, He watches me, He is for me. I'm learning to truly trust Him and life just keeps getting better. :) God isn't anymore the genie-God I used to know before. He has become more than that. He doesn't give me everything I want, but He sure does give me everything I need, even better than what I want. Ultimately, He never fails to give me His best...

Now that I'm hitting my 26th year, I'll continuously live my life to the fullest but this time, be better at it. ;) I'd like to expect more travels, more learning, more people, more new skills - basically more of everything!!! I just couldn't wait to see what God has for me this 2018. There are many good things on the horizon and I look forward to seeing all that unfolds in the coming year. I know this year will be a year of breakthroughs, a time to reap everything I have sowed in the past years.

Hope to still see you and be with you as we traverse life together. :)
Laissez les bons temps rouler!